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Jesus Christ
Jesus of Nazareth (c. 5 BC/BCE – c. 30 AD/CE), also known as Jesus Christ or simply Jesus, is the central figure of Christianity. Christians view him as the Messiah foretold in the Old Testament and as the Son of God, who provided salvation and reconciliation with God to humankind by dying for their sins, then raising himself from the dead. In the early episodes, adult Jesus was voiced by Seth MacFarlane. In more recent episodes, Alec Sulkin has taken over the role. A standing gag is that Jesus drives a Cadillac Escalade. In "North by North Quahog", he is seen in the car in an action trailer for Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ 2: Crucify This and is portrayed by Jim Caviezel opposite Chris Tucker. In "Blind Ambition", God is seen hitting on a woman in The Drunken Clam. After lighting her cigarette with a lightning bolt, God accidentally sets the bar on fire by pointing at the woman, causing lightning to strike her, upon which she explodes from the immense heat causing a fire to erupt. As God screams his name, he comes in and God tells him to get the Escalade so they can escape. In "Chitty Chitty Death Bang", Jesus also has the power to turn water into funk. Stu Griffin in Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story segment "Stu & Stewie's Excellent Adventure", explains time travel vacations to his younger self by relating his previous vacation to biblical times, when he went back to see Jesus Christ. He observes that his abilities may have been exaggerated a bit. Jesus is then shown performing Art Metrano's "tricks" while humming "Fine and Dandy". In "Deep Throats", in response to Lois Griffin's question "What if Jesus had given up?", he is seen in a shabby domestic setting, lazing in a chair, kids running amok around him, and he calls out to their mother as to why the ironing board is still out. According to "Boys Do Cry", Stewie admires Jesus, and imagines what it would be like to meet him. He enters a room in Jesus' house to find him standing in a tub, naked washing himself. Seeing Stewie watching him, he carries on. In "It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One", Mayor Lois Griffin claims that Adolf Hitler is plotting with The Legion of Doom to assassinate Jesus, this way she can get taxpayer money for the sake of Lake Quahog. In "No Meals on Wheels", Peter believes he is Jesus when he first discovers static shock. In "Petergeist", according to Stewie, Jesus is actually Chinese and his last name is Hong. Stewie also explains that Jesus has no idea where the surname Christ came from. According to the National Gun Association's pro-guns film in "And the Wiener is...", Jesus and Moses used guns to defeat the Romans. During his second coming, shown in "Stewie Loves Lois", Jesus's stature is found to be short since science has proven that people were shorter in biblical times. Peter Griffin somehow confuses Jesus with the Incredible Hulk during Jonathan Weed's funeral in "Mr. Saturday Knight". Jesus gets involved with Quantum Leap during "The Father, the Son, and the Holy Fonz", being threatened with a shotgun after kissing a farmer's wife. In "I Dream of Jesus", it is revealed he worked at Dead Format Records before Peter Griffin recognized him. The two became friends. Soon after a public display of his powers, Jesus became an instant celebrity, appearing at Paris Hilton's party, on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, at the MTV Video Music Awards and in many magazines. When the celebrity status becomes too much for him after a drug overdose, he is incarcerated, and then decides to go back into hiding. In "Believe It or Not, Joe's Walking on Air", Pontius Pilate and Judas Iscariot find kindred spirits in one another, and prance off to conspire a way to kill Jesus. Peter thanks Jesus when Carter Pewterschmidt admits he had a good time with Peter in "Screwed the Pooch". Jesus starts to explain that it wasn't actually him who had helped, when Vishnu interrupts to say that it doesn't matter as he's used to it. Jesus has a friend named Trevor, who said "Hello" to him during The Bachelorette, as seen in "Brian the Bachelor". Jesus is seen on the sofa eating crisps and watching the show, when the phone immediately rings, and he says he was watching it happen. He also makes use of his powers to assist his golf game, as seen in "Holy Crap". Although he is "Employee of the Week" at Happy-Go-Lucky Toys, he is on the golf course going for his fourth Birdie. He makes his swing, and the ball lands extremely close to the hole, on the verge of going in. Using his power, he gets the ball to go in. In "The Courtship of Stewie's Father", he and Joseph have an argument so he calls God and asks if he can live with him. God, in bed with a young woman, his girlfriend named Janet, claims it is not a good time for him to come. Jesus is voiced by Seth Green here. On "Family Goy", Jesus repays the Griffins a visit to straighten their identities, and mentions how he himself is a Jew. He appears as "Black Jesus" in "Jerome Is the New Black". This variation is voiced by Kevin Michael Richardson. A black Jesus on a crucifix appears and becomes a brief point of conversation in "The Splendid Source". In "Go, Stewie, Go!", Jesus is on the side of the jocks in a dodgeball game against the meek. In "April in Quahog", Jesus flipped off Mort Goldman and implied he would be going to Hell for not believing in his powers when the world was thought to be coming to an end. He is mentioned in "And Then There Were Fewer", when James Woods explains that he was now a born-again Christian. In "Friends of Peter G", the revealing of his birth causes three men to repeatedly stab each other to death. He is also seen as a figure on a crucifix when Peter has the AA group change the community center to resemble a church to fool Joe Swanson when they had all been drinking. The extended version of "Foreign Affairs" features a television commercial for "Jeez-It" brand snack crackers. In "Jesus, Mary & Joseph", Peter tells his own version of the Nativity story. During this, Brian states that the story is fictional. Stewie gets annoyed and references "I Dream of Jesus". and asks him how much more proof did he need. Stewie admits he has interfered with the past many times in "Life of Brian". A cutaway shows him planting the idea to rebel in Judas' head during the Last Supper by noting that he only had the salad while Jesus had five margaritas. When Carter Pewterschmidt fears being accused of being Jewish for canceling the Christmas Carnival at the Quahog Mall in "Christmas Guy", he has a giant banner proclaiming the reinstatement of the carnival picturing with himself and Jesus. Peter and Lois bump into Jesus at the Quahog Mall at Christmastime in "The 2000-Year-Old Virgin" and Peter sets up a night out with the guys to celebrate his birthday. When the guys discover that Jesus is still a virgin, they decide to help him get laid. However, he sets his sights on Lois and gets her and Peter to agree to the affair. But when Peter discovers that playing the virgin is a routine scam by Jesus, he rushes to stop things, only to find that Lois already refuses to cheat as well. Jesus pretends that everything was a test of their marriage and slips away. Stewie explains to Brian that Jesus didn't really die on the cross in "Stewie, Chris & Brian's Excellent Adventure" as God discovers in a cutaway that it was really due to cocaine and trauma to the colon. When Carter has an affair with Tricia Takanawa in "Carter and Tricia", Peter vows to make his Tricia “tiger mom” proud, unlike how Jesus about his kids, setting up a cutaway in which Jesus responds sarcastically to his child Billy's complaint of bullying. Jesus appears in two cutaway gags in "How the Griffin Stole Christmas". First as an adult enjoying sledding as his "second passion of the Christ," then as an infant when The Little Drummer Boy becomes a fan of Neil Pert. He makes a joke about Lois and Nicole's chick-chicken fight in "Follow the Money". Episode Appearances *FG103 "Chitty Chitty Death Bang" *FG202 "Holy Crap" *FG305 "And the Wiener is..." *FG313 "Screwed the Pooch" *FG401 "North by North Quahog" *FG403 "Blind Ambition" *FG407 "Brian the Bachelor" *FG416 "The Courtship of Stewie's Father" *FG418 "The Father, the Son, and the Holy Fonz" *FG423 "Deep Throats" *FG427 "Untitled Griffin Family History" *FG501 "Stewie Loves Lois" *FG515 "Boys Do Cry" *FG702 "I Dream of Jesus" *FG711 "Not All Dogs Go To Heaven" *FG802 "Family Goy" *FG807 "Jerome Is the New Black" (as Black Jesus) *FG813 "Go, Stewie, Go!" *FG816 "April in Quahog" *FG910 "Friends of Peter G" *FG917 "Foreign Affairs (DVD exclusive) *FG1101 "Into Fat Air" *FG1206 "Life of Brian" *FG1208 "Christmas Guy" (banner) *FG1213 "3 Acts of God" *FG1215 "Secondhand Spoke" (heard) *FG1306 "The 2000-Year-Old Virgin" *FG1307 "Stewie, Chris & Brian's Excellent Adventure" (mentioned) *FG1508 "Carter and Tricia" *FG1509 "How the Griffin Stole Christmas" *FG1514 "The Dating Game" *FG1604 "Follow the Money" *FG1620 "Are You There God? It's Me, Peter" (mentioned) *FG1716 "You Can't Handle the Booth!" Category:Jewish characters Category:Major Characters Category:Religious Figures